How it Works
As I think about the keys to managing stress and overwhelm, it is really about feeling a sense of agency or control over your circumstances.
You can have the best of intentions, but if your mind isn’t clear it’s going to be hard to focus on the things you want to do, or to even feel like you have the time to do them. It’s a never-ending circle, and the next thing you know you’re stuck in a rut and your simplest goals have fallen by the wayside.
To make up for that, perhaps you’ve ended up spending large sums of money on fancy vacation get-aways or “retail therapy”. It’s okay to reward yourself every now and again, but as the saying goes, “Too much of a good thing is not a good thing!”
In working with clients, I show them ways they can readily gain control over their everyday routines. To maximize, maybe even prioritize the time they have available without busting their “capacity budget” by focusing on the following fundamentals:
Pausing…
The pace of modern life is very hectic. Waaay too much to do and not enough time to do it. All of it seems urgent. But it is also important to find opportunities to take time for yourself.
Intentionally taking time to Pause is a simple way to do that.
This is important, because your state of mind makes a big difference in your ability to cope and see solutions when things become hectic.
You just don’t think as clearly when you’re in fight or flight mode. If you try to make decisions while in that state, it’s very likely that they will be poor or impulsive ones, that will worsen rather than improve the situation.
You also can’t show up for others—friends, family, community, etc.—if you are depleted.
You’ll be amazed at how incredibly calming and restorative taking time to Pause for even a moment can be.
Noticing…
We all operate under various constraints—like time, money, emotions, physical or mental energy—so it is important to be mindful of the way these resources are used.
When something comes up, then you’re off to the races, a crowd of thoughts going around and around in your head, preventing you from settling on any one thing. All this does is increase rather than reduce anxiety.
This flurry of thoughts also uses up the precious mental fuel you have to deal effectively with the daily challenges that arise in your life and will eventually wear you out both mentally and physically.
Noticing where and how you are placing your attention can help you reconsider what seems overwhelming and whittle it down into more manageable, less intimidating pieces, so you can begin moving towards greater clarity.
Once the distractions of everyday life recede, within the stillness created you can consciously and intentionally examine what’s going on without judgment or the reflexive action that tends to deplete those resources.
Resting With…
Quite often we are unwittingly getting in our own way. Our fears and discomforts prevent us from moving forward with our plans.
“Resting with” helps to cultivate the capacity to sit with and work through uncomfortable thoughts and emotions.
An awareness of these emotions and an ability to consider and become acquainted with them will enable you to partner with them, transforming and reducing their impact so you can get to the things that are important to you.
Choice & Agency…
Feelings of uncertainty and insecurity infuse into everything you do.
However, the ability to manage this more effectively allows you to leverage a greater degree of control over how you respond to the events in your life…whether that is figuring things out on your own or if additional support is needed.
Moving through the world with humility and confidence makes you more effective in accomplishing your chosen goals or helping others.
Working with these fundamentals creates the space for you to engage with clarity. To truly see and decide what is or isn’t going to happen next, leading to a sense of agency and self-efficacy.
More relaxed. More calm. Better ways to meet Life’s inevitable challenges.
If you’re wondering about who I am and why I teach these things click here to read more about me.